There are days it seems as if God's path for me is so obvious, then there are days when I feel as if I am flailing in the wind. Seems as though lately the latter has been more norm for me. During these times I am so thankful that I serve a God Who never changes. He is truly the One constant in my life--even when He chooses to shake things up a bit.
As the new school year begins, so do our youth programs. This is always an exciting time of year for both the leaders and the kiddos. Because our youth programs do not run during the summer, it is so much fun to reconnect with the children and teens. A fresh year lies ahead and the prospect of watching a child or teen come to know Jesus fills me with seam-bursting excitement! But, this year I am also filled with a little heartache.
I stepped out of youth ministry in January so I could deal with some personal issues. My plate was full with homeschooling and my college classes and I was dealing with some hurt that needed to be resolved before I could continue working with the youth. However, as summer drew near and some healing had occurred I was anxious to get back to the youth. I had missed them terribly! I was still teaching Sunday School, so I was able to stay connected to some of them, but it wasn't enough--I couldn't wait to be fully submersed in youth ministry once more. But, I had also been asked to help with our children's ministry, Jump. I said I would think about it and pray about it, but I was positive I would end up with the teens again. After all, that is where my passion is.
After much thought and prayer I will be working with Jump this year and I have to say--I have mixed feelings about it. I am excited to work with children who are excited to learn about Jesus! They love hearing stories about people in the Bible and it is fun to teach them how to apply those stories to their lives. What a privilege it is to be given the opportunity to shape the life of a child. And, these children are the future student leaders of our church. Exciting! On the other hand, I will miss the teens....immensely. After 5 years of teaching Jr/Sr high Sunday School I will no longer be teaching....and my heart hurts every time I think about it. I will have absolutely no connection to the teens. Yet, I still feel called, maybe more than ever, to youth ministry.
I do not understand this seemingly strange path that God has me on, but I do know that I will follow Him no matter where He leads. I think I have an idea why He is taking me on this ride, but I am seldom correct when I think I know and understand why God--Who's thoughts and ways are so much higher than mine--does something in my life. So, I am along for the ride..praying for His peace and guidance as I embark on this journey.
August 31, 2010
June 14, 2010
Standing in the Gap
Friday was tough!
I spent the morning and early afternoon inside a courthouse for a reason that nobody should ever have to be in a courthouse. I was lending moral support to a 15 year old girl who was giving a deposition about how her dad had molested her.
I arrived while the family was in with a family crisis counselor and as I sat in the deserted hallway of the warm, old courthouse, I struggled to wrap my mind around what was happening. As I waited for this brave, young lady and her family to come to the second floor, I prayed to God to help me understand why this was happening: "No child should ever have to do this! Why, Lord?" But I did not receive an answer as to why. What He did tell me was this "I will take their ashes and make them beautiful. I will use them to bring glory to My name." Once again I remembered how limited my understanding is and that His ways are not ours. Then, I heard footsteps.
When I looked up I saw two men approaching the top of the staircase. One was an older gentlemen dressed in a suit--definitely a lawyer. The other was a nice looking man, tan with sandy brown hair. As our eyes met, I gave them a slight smile and suddenly a feeling of sickness washed over me--that is her dad. I had never seen him before and really didn't know what to expect, but somehow--I thought he would look different; demented....psychotic....something other than normal, but I was wrong. I wanted to take my smile back! He didn't deserve it!!! What kind of animal does this to another human being--his own daughter? I could feel the anger start to well and then that Still Small Voice.......
God gently reminded me that this man needs prayer--probably more than anyone. Immediately my heart softened and I began to pray for the softening of his heart so that he may encounter the God of the Universe and live a life that honors Him and the daughter he has hurt so badly.
Friday was tough as I watched this young lady and her mom go through a myriad of emotions and even went through some of my own. I am incredibly honored and humbled that this family is allowing me to stand in the gap for them and travel this road with them; And, I find a peace that surpasses all understanding in knowing that this brave, young lady has a Father who loves her and has great plans for her!
I spent the morning and early afternoon inside a courthouse for a reason that nobody should ever have to be in a courthouse. I was lending moral support to a 15 year old girl who was giving a deposition about how her dad had molested her.
I arrived while the family was in with a family crisis counselor and as I sat in the deserted hallway of the warm, old courthouse, I struggled to wrap my mind around what was happening. As I waited for this brave, young lady and her family to come to the second floor, I prayed to God to help me understand why this was happening: "No child should ever have to do this! Why, Lord?" But I did not receive an answer as to why. What He did tell me was this "I will take their ashes and make them beautiful. I will use them to bring glory to My name." Once again I remembered how limited my understanding is and that His ways are not ours. Then, I heard footsteps.
When I looked up I saw two men approaching the top of the staircase. One was an older gentlemen dressed in a suit--definitely a lawyer. The other was a nice looking man, tan with sandy brown hair. As our eyes met, I gave them a slight smile and suddenly a feeling of sickness washed over me--that is her dad. I had never seen him before and really didn't know what to expect, but somehow--I thought he would look different; demented....psychotic....something other than normal, but I was wrong. I wanted to take my smile back! He didn't deserve it!!! What kind of animal does this to another human being--his own daughter? I could feel the anger start to well and then that Still Small Voice.......
God gently reminded me that this man needs prayer--probably more than anyone. Immediately my heart softened and I began to pray for the softening of his heart so that he may encounter the God of the Universe and live a life that honors Him and the daughter he has hurt so badly.
Friday was tough as I watched this young lady and her mom go through a myriad of emotions and even went through some of my own. I am incredibly honored and humbled that this family is allowing me to stand in the gap for them and travel this road with them; And, I find a peace that surpasses all understanding in knowing that this brave, young lady has a Father who loves her and has great plans for her!
May 29, 2010
Weeds!
With spring here, and summer well on its way, everything is in full swing. Flowers are in bloom, trees are erupting with leaves, and all of God's creation seems to be exploding with life. Even the things we wish would just go away.....like weeds!
Weeds seem to serve no purpose. They rise up and choke the plants that are supposed to be growing and flourishing by robbing them of the nutrients that are vital to their growth. Weeds have no regard to the well being of the other plants, they are simply concerned with taking over the area in which they are spreading--until the entire area looks just like that weed.
I am finding that, sadly, sometimes people are like weeds. They are unconcerned with the purpose and roles of others and rob them of the nutrients they need to grow. Nutrients like grace, mercy, forgiveness, love, and compassion. Instead, the weeds rise up and attempt to choke others into believing what they believe, so eventually, everyone who is in contact with that weed will look just like it.
I have had some people in my life who are weeds, but thankfully, God is an amazing Gardner. He is revealing those people for who they are and removing them from my life. Now, I can continue to thrive in the ways and areas HE has called me to. He is replenishing my life with people who provide the nutrients that I, and every one of His children, need in order to fully serve Him. With every weed He extracts, He plants a new seed--and those seeds have grown into beautiful plants that I am so thankful for. Plants that not only stand beside me, but also help me to grow.
Thank You, Lord for tending to the garden of my life. Thank You for weeding out the plants that are harmful to Your Kingdom and for replacing them with plants that show Your grace and beauty!
Weeds seem to serve no purpose. They rise up and choke the plants that are supposed to be growing and flourishing by robbing them of the nutrients that are vital to their growth. Weeds have no regard to the well being of the other plants, they are simply concerned with taking over the area in which they are spreading--until the entire area looks just like that weed.
I am finding that, sadly, sometimes people are like weeds. They are unconcerned with the purpose and roles of others and rob them of the nutrients they need to grow. Nutrients like grace, mercy, forgiveness, love, and compassion. Instead, the weeds rise up and attempt to choke others into believing what they believe, so eventually, everyone who is in contact with that weed will look just like it.
I have had some people in my life who are weeds, but thankfully, God is an amazing Gardner. He is revealing those people for who they are and removing them from my life. Now, I can continue to thrive in the ways and areas HE has called me to. He is replenishing my life with people who provide the nutrients that I, and every one of His children, need in order to fully serve Him. With every weed He extracts, He plants a new seed--and those seeds have grown into beautiful plants that I am so thankful for. Plants that not only stand beside me, but also help me to grow.
Thank You, Lord for tending to the garden of my life. Thank You for weeding out the plants that are harmful to Your Kingdom and for replacing them with plants that show Your grace and beauty!
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