April 4, 2011

Confirmation

I try not to doubt this path that I am on, but there are days when I find myself wondering if I am really going where God is leading. I question whether God is really calling me to youth ministry or if that is just where I am comfortable.

Last year, when I felt as though God was calling me away from Youth Ministry and into Children's Ministry, my heart sank. I was obedient to what I believed God was calling me to do, but I could not shake the sadness that ensued every Wednesday as I approached the church. I was not surprised to feel that way as I had worked with the youth for almost 6 years and to make that kind of change was bound to create some sadness. I was sure, with time, the sadness would go away and, frankly, I was expecting that after some time my passion would dwindle as well. However.....

While the sadness has subsided, with the exception of a few rare moments, my passion has not decreased in the least. I still feel called to work with the youth, despite my current placement (or displacement:) and cannot wait until God brings me back to them. However.....

Even though I have still felt called to work with the youth and retained my passion, I still wonder from time to time if it is 'just me'. Am I just comfortable with them? Is this a self created passion or truly a calling? Thankfully, God is intimate and always knows when I doubt and need reassured.

Yesterday, at church, we had the privilege of listening to a choir of students from a correctional school. They were all there because of poor choices they had made in their lives and this correctional school was their last option. Many of them were there because this was the only place that would take them--no other school wanted them. And, as they sang Amazing Grace tears filled my eyes and I prayed for each of them. I prayed that they would understand the words they were singing and I prayed that they would make wise choices for their life--including the most important choice--choosing Him.

As I choked back physical tears, my heart continued to cry for them and I realized God was confirming His call on my life. Nothing moves me to tears or prayers like teenagers and as God made this revelation clear, the cloak of doubt that had been wrapped around me suddenly fell to the ground and I planted my feet firmly on the path He has laid for me.

Thank You, Lord.....for knowing when my heart needs encouraged and for always being willing to re-confirm Your plan and Your will for my life. Continue the work you are doing so I am ready to accomplish every good work you put in front of me. Soli Deo Gloria....

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